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Having returned yesterday from another powerful, transformative weekend at Thrive Academy I feel inspired and exhausted.  So much amazing content to make use of and so many big breakthroughs and soul-shifting ideas to integrate. There were many take-aways.  

The last time I went through this program the most impactful exercise addressed Blame. 

The concept is that whenever you are blaming another person for the way things are in your life, you are essentially giving away your power.  There is no way to stand in your power while also blaming your parents for your bad money habits or blaming your ex for where you live.  By directing the fault of these things to someone other than yourself you are claiming victimhood rather than standing as the sole creator of your life.  As long as you’re giving that up, you have less power to change things. 

What a huge idea!  

Who are you blaming for the way things are and how long are you going to give that power away?  Who might YOU be if you took that responsibility and power back?  How much easier would it be to simply take action and change things if they were fully in your control and not tied to or determined by someone else?  

This past weekend there was another big aha moment for me.  There was a woman on stage who admitted to us that she had been lying in her marriage for over 30 years.  Through the questions she was asked and the coaching that took place it became crystal clear that another way we stand apart from our power/strength/mojo/integrity/responsibility/badassness is by allowing the truth to be lost. 

This can be blatantly lying to someone about you or your life, or it can be simply not claiming or speaking your truth on a regular basis.  By that I mean there are lies we tell others and there are lies we tell ourselves.  Lies like we aren’t good enough, or we aren’t ready yet, or we’re not worthy.  Lies that keep us small and separate from our truth.  The truth is you are as ready as you need to be in this moment to do whatever it is that’s before you. 

You are whole, complete and lovable regardless of what you’ve done before now. 

That is your deepest truth, and you will be okay whatever happens.  Part of believing that we live in a friendly universe is knowing that even in the hardest of times, whatever is happening is in your best interest in the long run.  It will be this struggle that makes you capable of all that is to come.  Try to keep your chin up, sweetheart, and try to come clean wherever you can.  

All this was interesting and moving to me until I recognized that there was an aspect of my life that was so buried that I was sure I would never shine light on it.  I saw that this piece of my life, that I have kept secret from those I love most, was absolutely playing a daily role in my relationships with them.  Like I was a little bit angry that they hadn’t figured the truth out for themselves.  Namely my Mother.  How could she really know me when she couldn’t see this piece of me?  Because I never shared it with her, that’s how.  And she would never would know if things kept on the way they were going.  

So, I decided to come clean. 

This thing I had been hiding wasn’t worth it’s weight in my life anymore.  I knew my mother would still love me, and I knew that it didn’t define me as a person but the shame was big and the idea of sharing it was scary. 

It’s been 7 hours since I let it all out and I can already see the light shining in.  I can already see the closeness that was missing becoming more available.  In a marriage with over 30 years of lies, there is no place for intimacy.  The same goes for any relationship, where there is a significant stone unturned there is a gap in connection.  

Where in your life are you hiding something?  What can you unload so that you can stand more free and fully in your power?  What are you still holding on to, pretending it’s important, that should now be released?  What lies are you telling yourself that are keeping you apart from your light and power?  

Life is too short to keep lying and being ‘safe’ isn’t worth keeping it all bottled in.